What a week it has been, it has been a slight rollercoaster emotionally. I’ve been trying to balance my unquenching thirst to be productive and remembering my body has the energy of a sloth and ME/CFS likes to kick to remind you that you can’t get it all done. Ha jokes curl up in a ball of neverending fatigue and pain just to remind you of my evil powers.
I’ve been enjoying helping my family from afar this week, I have become a slight ninja in getting online grocery slots. Granted I can’t magic flour out of thin air but I was able to get tinned chopped tomatoes. Groundbreaking stuff I know. My grandparents are over 70 and they are supposed to be shielding for 12 weeks and we don’t live very close so I’ve been sending them groceries. They are the most independent people I know and there were just not any slots for weeks so I’ve managed to secure a couple and stuck to a list that they’ve given me. There may have been a few late nights trying to get slots at midnight but it was better to get one and be tired than know they were struggling to get food in. They have been rather ingenious and neighbours had offered to buy a few bits here and there for them. They are coping well and it gives them peace of mind that they can control it even if it is via me.
I’ve been trying to look up managing finances and read a few books on it seeing as I have the time. I don’t think I am bad with money but I have lots to learn about it all. I want to make every penny count and be reminded that toffee popcorn isn’t a necessity it’s a luxury. I just want to learn about adulting whilst I have the time.
I think I’ve come to quite a simple conclusion about living with the knowledge of COVID-19 being around my country and the world. It’s pretty simple, it takes energy to filter and process all of the information we are being given. It takes energy to worry about your family, food, medications and how long this will go on for. Everyone deals with that differently either being under their duvet all day or working out and being the most productive they have ever been. No answer is correct it’s just right for that person.
I have ME/CFS so the not going out truly doesn’t bother me unless I think of the beach or IKEA. I have been wondering why I’m so tired when I’ve not been doing much and resting. I’m not sleeping great which doesn’t help but it takes energy to be in a new era we find ourselves in. We have no control besides washing our hands and staying two metres away from people and staying at home. Cut yourself some slack and be gentle with yourself. Look after your mental wellbeing as well as your physical.
Remind yourself this is unchartered territory and we are learning as we go along. Indulge yourself a little and try to find the silver lining in the storm clouds. I am so grateful for the time I have had to check up on my family and to remind myself why it is important to be connected to family. It is not sunshine and kitten kisses but it is what you make it. You can find joy or gloom.
I hope you all stay as safe as you can and thank you to anyone who is a front line worker your service is a lot to be grateful for.