Two Year’s Of Seeing Me In Reality

Two years ago today I hit the button that made this blog live to the rest of the internet. I was so nervous because I had no clue what would happen. Could I keep up with my weekly blog posts? My life in the past two years has changed dramatically. I fell in love and did a long-distance relationship for 17 months. Baloo then moved down to my part of the UK. My sister got married and now lives in her own house. In some ways my life hasn’t changed, my illness is the same, the battles I face are the same. My understanding of ME/CFS is always changing and evolving. I am now being slightly pushier in terms of when I know things aren’t right.

I am finding my voice and that’s down to you all. You have taught me so much and I feel lucky to have your support and your advice. I don’t feel so alone which is the reverse to how I saw my blog working. I wanted to be that person saying “you’re not alone, this is how I got through this”. But instead, I now have that comfort.

2019 has been a tough year for my family for many a reason. A dear family member was diagnosed with cancer, it was a total shock and a huge worry. Thankfully so far, since their cancer has been removed there are no signs of spreading. We are grateful that so far it’s not as bad as first thought. We’ve been through a lot and the blog has suffered due to this.

I am sad but I know to stop posting is better than to post sub-par blog posts when I could scramble some words together. For this I am sorry but I know I need to look after myself Baloo and my family first and foremost. I am getting to a point where life is slowing down so I can start to plan my blog posts. Did you know it’s nearly Christmas??!? Leave any blog post ideas in the comment section below.

I am in a place that admitting this year has been really hard for me isn’t such a struggle. I just needed to keep some part of my life semi-normal and posting happy blogs helped balance all the difficulties I have faced. I hated not being honest but at that point, I didn’t know how bad the situations were going to get. It wasn’t my story to tell. I didn’t know how to say even though others were going through it took a toll on me without it sounding self-centred.

I love blogging and I want to get fully back into it! I am so proud that even though I have missed more weeks than I would have liked this blog is still here two years on. For me, this is a big deal. I want you to know how important this is to me. It isn’t something I take lightly and I try to create the best content for you I can. I’m finding my feet in this blogging world and I want to keep improving and trying new things.

I am sat here wondering what next year’s blog post will contain. What will happen in the next 365 days is a mystery but I’m hoping for some good moments to report. Thank you for reading this awfully rambling blog post without you it’s just me talking to myself on the internet.

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