Before we get into the blog post please allow me to wish you a very Happy New Year!
As we drew closer to the New Year, like many, I evaluated all that has unfolded throughout the year. There had been many a change this year like no other, this year has been some big changes in my family. We have gained some new members (read my wedding speech for my Sisters wedding here) and made room for more in our lives. The blog has grown before my very eyes and I have worked hard to keep it alive and hopefully, thriving.
Baloo is here to start 2019 just like last year, I’m sat here wondering what 2019 has in store for us. My guesses from last year were not even close to how 2018 would pan out so that is quite the adventure.
There have been many a New Year I have been devastated to see yet another year pass. This sadness does linger but changes and the march of time is unstoppable. Even if you don’t feel like your life is changing it might be. I get feeling the sadness of lost time and the loss of the life you dreamt of. But one day is all it takes for big changes to happen in your life. I have had countless years where nothing really changed in my life but it did for everyone else and it was painful to see it before my eyes. I hurt yet I tried to seem alright for everyone else and be happy for them. I wanted to still be in contact with the outside world.
Take comfort in that one day this will be your time and don’t give up on living life! Life is a gift and we should treasure it. Every pain filled day because something will make it all worth it one day. I know that’s a cliché and I will admit that I am sad to be closing this year, starting my eleventh year with M.E/CFS it cuts me to the core but I will not let it take hold. I don’t want to be bitter or cold or snappy to those who just will never understand how much life can change in an instant and seemingly invisible change at that.
We don’t know what the road ahead has in store for us. I was on Instagram and I came across a quote that said: “Remember the time when you wanted what you currently have?”
It made me stop and take in what I have now to what I wanted and thought was impossible just years ago. What I crave now might be in my future but it might not.
I think with chronic illness the temptation to focus on what had been withheld from us is almost impossible. We may focus on trying to keep up and one we get what we desired we move on to the next thing that hasn’t been forthcoming. Take a moment to focus on what you thought you’d never achieve, have or experience and what you have been able to do. That is the most incredible thing if it’s brushing your teeth by yourself or being able to say goodnight to someone or finding a dream job you can do. Celebrate the little things and know that changes happen whether we want it or not. Life goes on and we have to make the most of our time.
So with that said I want to wish you all the happiest of New Years! Thank you for sticking around and I hope 2019 is your year!
I’m going to hide out and celebrate the fact I just pulled off a packed Christmas on Seeing Me In Reality ( It doesn’t acronym well. SMIR ?!? Baloo could’ve been Mr SMIR haha). See you next week as always dear friends.