I was on Instagram and the lovely memyselfand_m.e shared an article from The Mighty. I was inspired after reading the article and wanted to pay homage to my Baloo and every other partner who deals with M.E on some level. Baloo and I are slightly different as both of us have M.E, it was how we met. It is utterly amazing to have the understanding of symptoms and the general malarkey that comes with M.E but it also means you know that they are struggling with themselves also. So with that, all said I will get into my letter.
I know we don’t generally talk like this but I know you have a bit of an unusual position as my other half. Whilst we are equals sometimes you have to take the fear, pain and suffering that I have in your stride. You smile and kiss my forehead when we have to cancel plans and tell me that we have time to do it another day. You know that sometimes I have to go into a bubble and sleep or just be quiet by myself and you never make me feel guilty for not being fully functioning. You know what to do and are there when you can be.
You saw past the early bedtimes, the wheelchair and other health aides and just saw me. You take me at my best and my worst. You hide your worries and concerns when I can’t move or I can’t eat. The most important thing for me is that you don’t see me as a lesser human or a pity case. We are quite happy to make the most of the good, the bad and the ugly days together. Of course, that doesn’t change the daily struggle we face, but we face it together. We laugh together and somehow it makes it alright.
Baloo, I know that we have our own challenges to face but I want to thank you for being my supporting wonderful cheerleader, I know I need to work on accepting help when you offer it but so do you ha! We have a strange relationship with our illness as it brought us together but also is the biggest factor of difficulty we face ( besides you living over 200 miles away obvs.) We face it together and take it in turns to look out for one another. We are equals and that is all that matters.
I want to say that the partners who face a life with M.E and their partner are the best kind of humans but I don’t want to heroise them. The people who have chronic illnesses are just as spectacular with those without, we just need some forward planning and rest breaks. But it could be daunting at first to see the future as it would be not as you want it to be. But then who is normal or doesn’t come with some baggage? Ours tends to be more upfront than not. Life normally isn’t what you expect it to be.
I value the laughter and the joy you bring to my life but most of all I value you for everything that makes you the person that you are and how that makes up part of our relationship. I know the life we lead is misunderstood by many outsiders but it makes sense to us. It makes sense because of who we are not what we share and have. Illness and disability are sometimes the unexpected curve ball in life or you’re born with it. But it affects more of us than you’d think at some point in our lives.
I just want to say I love you and I thank you for your unconditional love, patience and the laughter we share. Thank you for seeing me and for being on this adventure of a lifetime.
With the greatest love,
Please feel free to share this blog post and let me know what matters to you with your partner. Comment down below!