I know I’m not the first person to have to readdress the balance of trying to stay well but also be a participant of life. I haven’t been getting the balance right recently. Most of it has been out of my control, more doctors appointments meetings and family events and just generally trying to keep on top of my life and my personal life. I know to many this sounds minor and just part of the package of life but it’s left me emotional, drained and running on empty all the time.
I don’t really use pacing but I try to create balance in my life so that I don’t overdo it or get cabin fever either. I realised that during this phase I was spending such a lot of time with Netflix keeping me company and I wasn’t sleeping as ‘well’ as I usually do. I was up a lot in the night and finding sleep eating and general day to day really hard. I had also started to try and keep my room roughly tidy and I snapped and crashed. I knew I needed more sleep, less screen time and for my introvert soul some quiet time where I don’t talk every day. Plus I need to plan in these blog posts ( I’m in the depth of Christmas right now).
I got back into reading books and loving them. I had to start readdressing the balance and trying to avoid stress and sugar. Sugar is my biggest weakness when my M.E is bad and it’s not good for me long term.
I’ve had M.E for a decade and sometimes I still need to go back to basics and let my body just be rather than trying to be everything all the time. I reminded myself that I value myself enough to make provisions for my health but also for me. I forced myself to do some tiny tasks that would help me feel like me again.
I felt drained and tired and grumpy (ask the fam they’ll tell you the truth) but also like I wasn’t in control of my life because of everything that was going on I didn’t have much of a say on what was happening day to day. I know to cope with stress I have the urge to run tidy or clean. Helpful when you have zilch in the energy department but I wanted to keep my hands busy to process. So I pulled the breaks, I feel like I’ve gone to Netflix Addicts Anonymous as its been nearly a week since I last watched it and I know it was just wasting energy. I miss it a little.
Don’t be afraid to start saying no and to stop pushing yourself because if you continue eventually it will catch up with you. Prioritise yourself if you can and do things you want to do be that shave your legs, whack a face mask on, read that book you’ve been dying to start. Do it!! You need to make time for you even if the dreaded appointment bundle is coming your way. Rest up, check in with yourself and know when to stop. I know sometimes it can be a snowball effect and you have no clue how to stop and let yourself breathe but maybe its time to readdress the balance?
See you next week!