At the time of writing this, I’m fully embracing the first week of Advent and not just for the sweets every day. Like many, I end the year thinking of what 2017 were like for me the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. Life as Forest Gump famously said, “Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re going get.” This year I feel like I’ve learnt a lot and learnt to rely on the inner strength that I sometimes forget is there. But when this is released, the common questions about New Year Resolutions will have been asked for the gazillionth time and the New Year will be within touching distance.
I read a fantastic blog post from The Freckled Fox where Emily talks about instead of thinking how you start a New Year think of how you want to finish it. I loved the concept as someone who has given up on goals and resolutions in life as the idea of having a year to work on the things I want to makes it a gentler experience, rather than trying to hit the ground running in a new year after two weeks of increased activity.
I gave up on goals/resolutions (which you can read more about HERE) because of the complexity of living with M.E/CFS made it too disheartening when it didn’t pan out. Just this week I had to stay at home whilst my siblings went on a trip up to my grandparents that I had booked and planned. It had special meaning to me and I was devastated to make the phone call explaining that I just couldn’t make it. My sanity needs to have gentle plans, rather than set goals or resolutions.
I have my sister’s wedding to look forward to in 2018 and that’s all I see right now. I want to be there to witness their union and to celebrate with them. This is all I focus on really when I think of the New Year. Besides trying to finish 2018 more comfortable in myself and hopefully wiser for the successes and when things don’t go to plan.
I know I struggle with the passing of another year still fighting the battle of M.E and mainly loosing. For all of those out there who can have a transcendent moment, regardless of your unique situation, you aren’t alone in your struggle and sorrow when it appears like the rest of the world is full of energy and hope to make the New Year better than the year they left behind. More than you might think may struggle with that. We only see what people allow us to see of their lives and normally it’s the good rather than the vulnerable moments. I see you though, I see that struggle and I feel it keenly even when there is joy in my family to be a part of.
I hope you had a lovely Christmas and Happy New Year! I know many of us will be ensconced in bed or on the sofa recovering from an overload of activity. You did well friends.
P.S If you want to make a New Year Resolution then read my blog every week or sign up for the email notifications 😉